I like to rank things.
I rank order my jeans, my bedroom slippers, and my collection of fuzzy sweaters. I even have the fruit in my produce drawer ranked according to which I like best. Not just which types of fruit– I mean which actual grapefruits I find most appealing. (Get it? A-peel-ing?)
So it’s no wonder my office is coated in books, each section rank ordered within its category according to which author is my favorite at any given moment. And the order is constantly changing. Obsessive, you say? Maybe. But if you’re looking for something to read, and you know immediately whether it’s a Rick Riorden day or a Maggie Stiefvater week (when is it NOT a Maggie Stiefvater week?) then it’s wildly convenient to have your favorite books at the ready for an emergency re-read.
Just to be anal-retentive, I planned to give you a ranked rundown of all my favorite authors. The problem is, I’ve read too many lately that I love.
Gayle Forman, Michelle Rowen, Kiersten White, Jenna Black, Julie Cross, Jennifer Brown, Leigh Fallon, Lara Chapman, Kody Keplinger. . . and we mustn’t forget the inimitable Cassandra Clare (Seriously, that woman has a whole zip code to herself). I don’t think I can reasonably rank them anymore.
This disturbs me.
What will become of my carefully ordered universe? Will I morph into a person who wears flared or bootleg-cut jeans willy nilly, with no thought to ranked preference? Will I stop comparing my husband’s kisses to the myriad of idiots I kissed before him (whose full names and tongue styles I still maintain notes on, btw)?
It’s a sad thought indeed.
I suppose I should do what any rational woman in my position would, and go re-organize my underwear drawer. (The pink lace have been in the ‘favorites’ spot far too long. . . they’re starting to get cocky.)
And so I leave you with a gallery of my top five favorite nerdy guys– because if you can’t reduce men to a list of rank-ordered specimens, what has the world come to?
#5 Demetri Martin (Hilarious… and Yale educated.)
#4 Andy Samberg (Pretty ripped for a nerd… I won’t hold it against him.)
#3 Joseph Gordon-Levitt (So much style, you hardly notice the pocket protector!)
#2 Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim. ‘Nuff said.)
#1 Jesse Eisenberg (He can join my Social Network ANYTIME!)