The Tweeting Twit

 

Okay.

I admit, it’s been a
while since I’ve blogged. Not because I don’t love sitting at the computer, dredging my brain for something witty to say. Nor because I don’t have scads of extra time between guitar lessons, class, gymnastics, conferences, soccer, and trying to
come up with dinners that don’t inspire widespread hissy fits.

No.

It’s because of Twitter.

That’s right. 175 million
people all trying to convince you they’re worth following. And you, in turn,
must contribute not just daily witticism, but actual MEANINGFUL “content” in
order to attract them.

You heard me, ATTRACT them.

I specifically recall
getting married so that I would never have to “attract” anyone again. And every
time I gain a “follower” or lose a “follower” I feel my self-worth expand and
plummet respectively.

It’s dizzying. It’s
painful.

I did this in high school
and I deeply, passionately, don’t want to do it again.

Yet, here I am. Every day.

Tweeting.

So, I twbeg of you, if
you twlove me, come to my twhouse, ascend the stairs, and rip my cramped, twfrozen
fingers off the twit-board. I will thank you in the end.

After I quit twitching.

(…Live the nightmare @cecilywhite)

6 Comments:

  1. I have the cure for your Twillness. RT. Retweet. It saves you from having to think of something witty to Tweet and people will love you for helping spread their words;)

  2. I hate Twitter. Limit me to 140 characters. No thanks. I like FB better and I’m slowly getting the hang of G+. Usually the only thing going to my Twitter feed is when there’s a new blog post because they’re connected.

    Half the stuff I can’t even read on Twitter because there are so many at signs and hash tags, I don’t even know what anyone is talking about.

  3. I just jumped on the Twitter band wagon about a month ago. Still not very good at it. Between work, writing, editing, keeping up with facebook and socializing I just don’t seem to have the time for 140 characters. You’re busier than I am and you manage. Kudos to you. (I’m going to add your site to my blog roll)

  4. Dear Cecily: Tweeting makes you gain weight.

    Just sayin’

    Cured?

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